It’s time to make a decision. Should you have a second kid? You probably had an ok time with your first child. You figured out the mysteries of getting them to sleep, to stop crying, and how to get that blasted car seat in the car correctly.
But you are still not sure. That is why you ask your family and your friends what they think. Should you have a second kid? Hard much different is raising the second kid? Of course, your family and friends care about you so they do the only thing they can. They lie to you. Huge whoppers of lies. Their pants aren’t just on fire their entire body is on fire.
Well, I am going, to be honest with you, Number 2 is much harder than when it was just number one. Ask an honest parent with multiple kids, or anyone who has changed a blown out diaper (poop joke!) number two is a lot of work.
5 – Your first kid needs a friend
This is probably the most common reason given for why people have a second kid. They figure that a second kid will play with their first kid. The two of them will keep each other quiet and happy. Unfortunately, that just isn’t true. You don’t realize it at the time but you are not making a friend for your kid. You are making at best sparring partner. At worst a partner in crime. Many times like in my case you get both. The only bright side is they can’t stop fighting long enough for their devious schemes to be successful.
4- It will be easier if they are both close to the same age
The second lie ties into the first a bit but trust me merits a spot on this list by its self. Many parents think that having them both close together makes it easier for them to participate in activities. They can be in the same activities, and attend the same schools.
In theory, this should work. But in practice? Not a chance. If your kids choose to be in the same activity it is a little easier. But be prepared it almost never happens.
If they are in the same activity, I am convinced kids activity planners purposely plan it to make parents suffer. If you are lucky enough to have the activity on the same day, why does the 3-5-year-old class meet every Saturday at 9 am and the 6-9 class meets on Saturdays at noon. Every activity seems to be spaced so that you don’t have time to go home between classes but it is also a long wait.
You will be bored out of your mind. But isn’t the worst of it. Do you know who doesn’t handle that long wait well? The kid who just finished their activity. Buy some candy, charge the Ipad, and good luck. You’re going to need it.
3 – You can reuse the first kid’s things for your second kid
Ah, the favorite of budget-conscious parents everywhere. Hand-me-downs.The luxury of only having to buy things once. Then your second kid can reuse them. You poor ignorant fool. Do you know how much has to go right for hand-me-downs to really be an option?
First the most obvious one. You need to have two kids of the same gender. Next, you need to match seasons. If your first kid was a size one in summer your second kid needs to be the same size, in the same season. Finally and this is a big one for any kids over the age of four, your kids need to not destroy the clothing. Maybe 25% of the clothing you have purchased will actually be able to be reused If you’re lucky.
Some of you are probably thinking “well they can share toys”. I’m sorry but ask anyone with multiple kids. That is just stupid. It can take years to learn to share. I know more than one adult that is still working on understanding this concept. You will end up buying two of every gif because your money isn’t worth nearly as much as the few minutes of quite you will get by avoiding that fight.
2 -You know what you are doing
Look, I don’t care how well you thought you did in raising your first kid. I don’t care how easy it was, how well your kid is doing, or what successes you had. None of that matters with your second kid. This kid will be different.
What worked with your first kid will not work with your second kid. They will not sleep as well, or not eat as well. Maybe they will cry more, or cry less. What calmed your first kid won’t calm your second kid. Forget what you know, every baby is different. There is nothing more humiliating than sitting awake with a crying kid wondering why nothing is working when you never had to deal with this with your first kid.
1- It’s not worth the stress.
Ok, I know I have been complaining about how bad having a second kid is. But it is awesome. My family would not be complete without my second daughter. I can’t imagine life without her and would gladly go through every fight, every multiple drop-off or practice time, buying two of everything, late-night humiliation, and stress again if that is what I had to do to add her to our family. Having a second kid is awesome.
But, don’t get me started on those people crazy enough to have a third kid………