While sitting on Facebook today, I was some pictures of some large families with 4, 5, 6 or more kids. It didn’t take long before these pictures brought me to the only possible conclusion. These people are crazy
Besides trying to get a show on TLC I can’t come up with a good reason to have that may kids.
Just the thought of that many kids scares me. I barely made it through two toddlers with my sanity intact. I don’t like my chances of doing it a third time.
Before I get too critical I will admit I do admire the patience and dedication these parents have. To be able to provide for and raise that many kids
Why is it so crazy? I was able to come up with seven reasons why having such a large family is crazy.
7 – The world was not made for a family that size.
I will get the obvious one out of the way first. The world was not designed with large families in mind.
Take a look at an average car. Not your massive land boat SUV’s that are bigger than the apartment I lived in when I first went to college. But the type of normal car most people drive.
It is designed with four seats for four people. Well, I guess you can say five if you count that middle seat in the back that you make whatever kid you love least sit in.
The same with restaurant booths, square tables, or even the number of burgers in a family pack. Our world is built for families of four.
Now I know some of you ready to rebel. Thinking that just because society encourages four-member families
But in this case, society is looking out for you. Many couples after having their second kid will be tempted for a third. They forget the discomfort of pregnancy. The lack of sleep and dirty diapers of a newborn.
Heck, they have probably blocked out the absolute hell that is raising a toddler.
6 – You are finally done with bottles, baby food, and wiping a butt that isn’t yours.
Taking care of young kids is hard.
They are constantly trying to hurt themselves and cry whenever they need something. Whenever you leave the house you
They never allow you a break during the day and if you can sleep for 4 hours straight your kid is having a good night.
What do you get for your sacrifices? A diaper full of what I am going to call “appreciation” that you have to clean up.
The good news is if you are to the point of considering another kid you are probably done or almost done with these horrors.
The bad news is for some reason you want to do it again. I don’t know what type of masochist you are but you might want to go get some
5 – Children are expensive
Do you realize how much kids cost? According to the very unscientific study I conducted that consisted of looking at my credit card bill, let me tell you kids are really expensive.
Just think of what you could do with all that money you were going to spend on another kid. You could buy things like, or you could go…….
Well, let’s be honest. Any extra money you might have will just end up going to your current kids.
Think about it. More school clothes to buy, more gifts at Christmas, a bigger house, a bigger car, even food!
So new argument. How can you take things away from your children whom you profess to love?
Oh, and don’t hope for the tax break. I looked into it and Kids are the most expensive tax break ever.
4 – Naming things is hard.
Anyone who has ever had a pet or a kid can tell you coming up with the perfect name is tough. Large families have
One solution I see many large families use is to come up with some sort of cute naming scheme. For example, every kid has a name that starts with a J, Our they are all named after famous athletes from the same team. Maybe, if
This is fine for the first few kids with names like Josh, Janell, James or Jenny. But sooner or later you run out of common names end up with a Jannik or a Javawnte.
By the way, Javawnte is a real name on a baby naming website. It means unclear which just the perfect description of how to say this name.
3 – Your house is a death trap.
Do you remember when you are getting ready for your first child? How you went through out the house baby proofing everything and making sure it was perfectly safe?
Then when your second came along you picked up a little, and figured that any baby proofing the first kid didn’t break was all you needed?
Now it is time for number three. There is nothing left that is baby proofed. You have gotten tired of undoing the lock on the toilet, and long ago broke the latches on the cabinets.
Your house is no longer safe. You now need to decide what is more important. Baby proofing or keeping things as easy as possible for the two kids who have already survived this long.
I know my house is unsafe. My girls have broken every attempt at baby proofing I tired. In fact, the only thing that is still baby safe is my bourbon
If I am being honest I didn’t do this for baby proofing. I did it because my wife is 5’1 (according to her) and I don’t want to share.
2 – You already don’t have enough time to get things done.
What so many people seem to forget is more kids take more time. It’s simple math. I mean I understand it so it can’t be that hard.
Right now you have maybe an hour of your day that isn’t already filled with one of your kid’s activities.
Kids take time. There is nothing revolutionary about that statement. The few breaks you get during the day can be the oasis in the desert that keeps you sane.
When the next kid arrives even that 20 or so minutes you have while the kids are watching Netflix will be gone. Filled with the needs of a new baby.
1 – The older kids will help with the younger kids is a lie
I saved this one for last because it is the biggest lie you will ever hear from large families.
The older kids will help look after the younger ones.
I am a responsible adult. I am an adult and I am barely capable of taking care of my kids and you want to have a kid do it?
Think about all of the dumb things your kids do. I’m sure you probably didn’t have to think too hard to come up with something.
I mean my kids still believe in the impossible like flying reindeer, the Detroit Lions winning the Superbowl, or that Grandpa is telling the truth when he says that smell is coming from the dog.
If by chance your kids are that spread out far enough that you have and a responsible teenager and a newborn, may God have mercy on your soul.
I guess I don’t understand Large Families
All joking aside I wanted to end this post with a bit of support for large families.
Kids are hard. Are hard and I for the life of me can’t figure out why would anyone what to do this 4 or 5 times?
The only reason I can come up with for more kids is to make your family complete. Sometimes families have a missing piece, and that piece is a child that has yet to be born.
So parents of large families. My hat’s off to you. What you are doing is tough, and I admit up I am not man enough to handle it. I am glad you can.
If one day it having a ton of kids is ever too much for you just remember. You can always try for that TV show on TLC.
If you want to know more about why my wife and I stopped at two check out. The 3 Reasons Why I Don’t Wish I Had a Son.