Making the Cut – Considering a Vasectomy

By | October 21, 2014

We are done having kids. I love both my girls, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But as much as I love them, there is no doubt in my mind that two is enough for me. Heck on some days one was enough, I’m kidding, most of the time.  Luckily, my wife feels the same way. She doesn’t want any more children either. We both feel that our family is complete.
For some reason, this doesn’t seem to be a popular decision. Not a visit with friends or a family get-together goes by that we are not asked if we are done. Everyone wants to know when number three is coming. We also get the dreaded,“Don’t you want a boy?” Wel,l the answer is no we don’t want a boy. We don’t want another child, boy or girl. Our lives are already pretty hectic and we don’t need to add any more stress to it. We are happy with our family and the thought of another kid is one of the scariest things we can think of.
Since we are both aware of where kids come from we are being careful. But no matter how careful you are, there is still the chance that it could happen. While many couples struggle to conceive, my wife and I were at the other extreme. We were very lucky and only a short time after deciding we wanted each of our kid’s, it happened. This was great when we were trying to have kids. Now, it’s the stuff of nightmares.
Lately, I have been considering a more permanent method. A way for us to not have to worry. I am referring to getting cut. Getting snipped. Losing contact with my boys. I am thinking about having a vasectomy.
I have to give my wife credit. She isn’t pressuring me into this. It is my idea, and she says it is my decision. The problem is I just  can’t seem to make a decision. I  just can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea. I have done some research on the procedure and it doesn’t seem that bad. Not good mind you. So, so not good. But not that bad. A little pain and very few risks.
The positives are obvious and far outweigh the few negatives there are. Other than the few days of discomfort and the minimal risk all surgery carries I can’t find a negative. Yet, I still can’t bring myself to do it. There is something about the finality of the procedure that scares me. I don’t want any more children, but to lose the ability to have any more scares me, not as much as the thought of having more kids, but still very scary.
I don’t really understand the feeling of dread I have. I am not ashamed of it. I have a few friends that have done it and a few more that I know are considering it. There is no shame or social taboo about the procedure. I know I will have to deal with some jabs from my friends about being less of a man, but that doesn’t bother me. I know many of the same people who will be teasing me are considering it themselves.
I don’t know what I will decide. To be honest, one day I will probably have it done. I am not ready yet but like I stated above I just can’t seem to find any negatives to this. If you or your spouse have gotten cut or if you are considering it I would love to hear from you about how it went. Leave me a message in the comments below.
Photo From Steve Snodgrass – flickr.com – CC

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24 thoughts on “Making the Cut – Considering a Vasectomy

  1. John Riley

    Love your blog about this. My wife and I are having our 3rd child today or early first thing tomorrow. This will be my 4th child and 3rd son. My wife has had a hell of ride with all 3
    Pregnancies and the doctor suggested tying her tubes. I jumped up and said, “No! Snip me!” They’re going to sheldule it sometime in the next week or two. My wife is proud of me. With a 13 year old son (my oldest), a 6 year old boy (wife and I’s oldest together), 4 year old daughter, and the soon to be new born son, I knew it was time to close chapter in our lives. She tried an IUD and complications with it. Her OB removed it when our daughter was 2 and pretty much told my wife because of the complications with IUD she would never have another child. I was happy, my wife was depressed and prayed to God for 1 more baby. Well we’re getting him. Now we are done. I’m told the freedom is awesome! So, in the words of my friends and co-workers “Get neutered, dude!”

  2. macangaronk

    I’m not married yet..but this post is a great read, both useful and I admit it’s a bit funny. Thanks kzoodad!

  3. Jessie

    I just have to say that reading your post, you don’t sound as sure that you’re done having kids as you’re trying to convince yourself you are. Maybe it’s not time to get snipped yet. 😉

  4. Billy

    I had it done after the birth of our fourth child. The decision was a pretty easy one for me. As I explained to the Dr. at the consultation, we have four children and my wife will not let me touch her until I have this done. It is also a great excuse to spend two days kicked back on the couch. I had the remote control close by, the controller for the X-box and my laptop next to me. Two days with a valid reason not to do anything. Easy decision. And I strongly suggest you don’t do anything at all. I started feeling a little lazy and thought I would at least get the laundry out of the dryer and fold it while sitting on the couch. It wasn’t long before a deep ache let me know I was doing too much. Oh, and undoubtedly, one of the children will try jumping into your lap – always be watching for that. Good luck.

  5. Tish

    First, your blog is great! And props to you for being such a great Dad. My husband got snipped 2 months ago. He already had a daughter and after we got together had 2 more. We both knew we wanted a break after the last was born and i went back on the pill. Missed some pills and voila got preggers again. It was bad timing. He wanted me to get an abortion, i just couldn’t. As it turns out i miscarried before the end of the first trimester anyway. I offered to get an IUD which was much more reliable than the pill (with reference to my forgetfulness) and could easily be removed in a few years when we were ready for another. He refused and behind my back scheduled the consultation and subsequent surgery. I accidentally found out about it a week and a half before the date of surgery. To this day a part of me hates him for that. Communication in a marriage is absolutely key and i commend you for discussing your thoughts with your wife first and taking whatever they may have been into consideration. A vasectomy can be an absolutely wonderful thing if you are both in agreement. Either way i wish you all the best.

  6. Charles

    Just stumbled upon your blog today, and I’ve been really enjoying them. Anyway, I’m in almost the same boat, though a little different. We have two girls, and feel the same about the family being complete (get a lot of the same questions from family and friends too, lol). Thing is, though we’ve been careful, my wife ended up getting pregnant about 6 months ago. When we visited the OB my wife (who is petite and has had both girls via c-section and rough pregnancies) was told that there was a very high risk of her being paralyzed and wheelchair bound if not worse if we went through with the pregnancy due to back and nerve problems. We ended up terminating the pregnancy 3 weeks in, which isn’t something either one of us EVER thought we would even consider, much less do. I’ve never posted on a blog before, ever. But I just thought I’d leave a comment for you, because no matter how scary and hard of a decision the vasectomy may seem, it pales in comparison brother. If you’re as sure as I am that it’s what you want to do, I suggest going ahead with it. I had toyed with the idea before, and certainly wished I had gotten it done back then. Good luck bud.

  7. Adrienne

    My husband had it done when our second was about 6 months old. He was such a great sport about it. I had unexplained infertility and therefore we had a hard time conceiving on our own. With the amazing doctors we now have two beautiful daughters. My husband felt that since I went through being poked and prodded for over 3 years just to conceive, plus two horrible pregnancies and giving birth twice he felt it was his turn. Since the infertility was unexplained and we didn’t want anymore kids it was the best thing for us. He has not regreted it once and we enjoy not having to worry about protection!

  8. Chris

    I had 2 girls and was happy. We didn’t try not to have a third or try to have a third however third happened….twins…..girls. Now we have 4. All under the age of 6. I think we are done but a little nervouse of THE SNIP.

  9. amanda

    My husband had his vasectomy done about a year ago…. Within the year his vasectomy reversed itself and we are currently pregnant with our fourth child… It came as quite the surprise obviously… He went to his checkups and every test said he was sterile, the day we found out I was pregnant, he went straight to the doctors office and asked to be tested again…. It came back that he was fertile and his tubes had healed back together…. I’m having a tubal ligation when our baby is born…

  10. Daemon1972

    I got the big snip 13 years ago and it was one of the best decisions of my life! My wife and i have 3 lovely kids and that was DEFINITELY ENOUGH! For some reason we were extremely fertile. Every time we had not used protection or missed a pill we got prego! We made a deal as my wife had a c-section with our 2nd, if she had to have another she would get her tubes tied at the same time. If everything went normal i would, after she recovered, get the boys snipped. Of course it was a picture perfect delivery! After the decision had been made we discovered she had MS and getting pregnant again would mean she would be in a wheelchair the rest of her life, so it did a lot to affirm our decision. she was supportive and loving throughout the whole process, ice became my BEST FRIEND for a week! The freedom that came from not having to worry about protection ever again is so liberating. The kids are old enough now that we finally have the freedom to exercise the freedom any time we want! So I would recommend that since you are sure you don’t want any more bundles of joy, take the plunge!

  11. Mandy

    My husband had it done a few weeks ago and we couldn’t be happier! He had two girls when we got together and I never planned on having a kid, but after an oops and our third daughter was born, we decided it was the best option. Nothing beats permanent birth control! And while the procedure does seem intimidating, it was quick and easy. I’m very much looking forward to having a sex life again–and never having to worry about another oops.

  12. Tara

    My husband and I discussed this as well. We ended up having me have a tubal ligation and an ablation. Both procedures are 99% effective in birth control. The reason I had both was because just getting an ablation and then getting pregnant is life threatening. I haven’t had a period since I did this three years ago! Plus it won’t affect hormone levels at all. More expensive but you will never have to buy feminine products again.

  13. Ruth

    After getting pregnant with my 3rd my husband considered getting a vasectomy. Since I have a blood clotting disorder I cannot use most forms of birth control. We both did research and I had a little “mean wife” fun showing him a video of the procedure ( I swear his face and him tightening his legs was hilarious!) … In all seriousness though I could not risk having more children because of my medical history. I told him how brave of him to consider it and was grateful for him taking that responsibility as birth control could kill me. In the end I delivered by c-section and since I was cut open already I told the Dr to snip my tubes. I am at peace and glad I did. Like someone else said here once you decide you are done and either get “snipped” your sex life just becomes awesome! No worries about a thing! 🙂

  14. Kate

    My husband got ‘snipped’ when I was 6 months pregnant with our 4th. It was a no brainer. When he went in, after carefully checking the football weekend schedules, the dr asked if he was ready. He said no but do it. The dr then told him he didn’t have to have it. He then told the dr that he should go look in the waiting room. The dr did. When he got back, he asked the dr if he saw me. Dr said yes. He said ‘my wife is pregnant with our 4th. The thought of a 5th scares me more than the scalpel!(don’t 11 years ago) The dr proceeded to do it. No problems. Just a little discomfort. When speaking with friends, it was amazing how many if them had it done. It is a personal choice, but a good one for us

  15. Mel

    Good for you for considering it! The responsibility of birth control and childbirth and rearing should fall on both partners, not just the wife. If you two are satisfied and happy with two, the vasectomy is a great option. My husband had one 4 years ago and even though the sight of a pregnant woman makes me slightly wish I could have a baby, I am overwhelmed with happiness knowing that there will be no “oops” babies to come. The procedure and downtime is minimal and you are NOT less of a man – you are responsible. Its not a castration! Sex is so much better!! Spontaneous quickies? Yes, please! No pills, IUDs, patches, condoms (!!), etc. From a wife’s perspective its awesome and if you have a good sex life, it will be enhanced knowing there is no consequence. My husband highly advocates it as well. Imagine starting over from scratch with the crying, diapers, and sleepless nights – if you and your wife truly would like to start over with it all, have a third. If not, give yourself and your wife some freedom (and fun!), get a consultation for more information, and reward yourselves with bareback every time. Just my two cents 🙂

  16. Lou

    I had it done after our third child. The funny thing is when our 2nd was coming up on her 1st birthday, we had the discussion that we would stop. A few weeks later we realized that was a premature conversation.
    Anyway, the procedure is pretty easy to be honest. It’s done with lasers these days and aside from some dull pain the day of the procedure, I didn’t experience any pain and was going about my normal life in a few days at most.
    I say go for it.

  17. Amy

    My husband had the procedure when our youngest was about 6 months old. We were done having children. Children are a wonderful blessing but I have always known exactly how many I wanted and we are at our limit. The freedom of knowing that it is one less thing to worry about is really great. It is uncomfortable but if you have it done around football bowl season or March Madness if you are a sports fan, there is plenty to watch on TV as you lay on the couch recovering. I have never thought my husband was less of anything for doing this. In fact, I think he is more of a man for taking on this responsibility.

  18. kzoodad Post author

    Wow the second half of that comment may be one of the meanest things i have ever read.

  19. Po

    My husband got the big snip when our fourth was 6 months old. That was three years ago. I still cry. Alone in my car. I just wanted one more. I remind him daily how he is less of a man. But I will admit, the thought of him in stirrups at the doctors office brings me great joy.

  20. alstayshome Danny Mercer

    Danny from the FB SAH page. Thanks for sharing the blog post. I’m fine with the finality of it all, personally. It’s getting cut or lasered in the Bits that bothers me. I hope that wasn’t terribly inappropriate.

  21. Jack

    I couldn’t do it. There is just something about it that bothers me. Not saying others shouldn’t or couldn’t do it because it does make a lot of sense, just not my thing.

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